lost threads

today I walked to & around Farmers' Market with a stranger -- she is one of my mother's youngest cousins, she had been out of touch with our family for most of her life after her mother (my maternal grandfather's sister) died when she was 3. I had hoped she knew more about my mother when she was younger or my grandparents, I had no idea she had been so young when she last saw them all.

we had a good walk, we talked the whole time about everything. we're both motherless daughters. we both love garlic & goat cheese. we both love Farmers' Markets. her youngest daughter is only 4 years older than Eldest Daughter & they both have the same first name.

my cousin just found our family recently via an online family tree site. she got a hold of one of my aunts maybe a week after my Grandmother passed away & two weeks after the last of my Grandfather's brothers died as well. my new-found cousin is from my Grandfather's side of the family. she didn't even know we're from a reservation in El Paso.

i felt a little less lost myself learning how much she had lost, never known and can never recover. all we can do now is try to create something new from these small strange connected threads, weave a friendship from family.